


Revenge Is Not Justice

by Alley_Skywalker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Choices, Friendship, Gen, master-padawan relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-24
Updated: 2006-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1684256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alley_Skywalker/pseuds/Alley_Skywalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the truth is hard to accept. Making the right choice can be harder. There is a reason why Jedi forbid attachment...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revenge Is Not Justice

“Master! Master, tell them to stop harassing the separatist cruiser! Master, please order them to stop!” 

Lexxa could hear the agitation in her former padawan’s voice even through the static of the commlink channel. It was a desperation that he could not, or would not, control. Lexxa knew this for she knew her padawan well. 

The separatist cruiser was under so much fire and was left so defenseless, which was rare, that its shields were due to overload at any moment. 

It needed to be destroyed. Capture had proved impossible but destruction could be achieved. This would mean guaranteed salvation for the planet below then, C’kade. It would also mean a massive destruction of separatist battle droids. And the deaths of three separatist system leaders. One of which was Isabella Phariichi.

Lexxa could envision the young senator-turned-war-strategist even now: Long chestnut hair falling over her shoulders, large dark eyes with black lashes, dressed in a an elegant dress or a tight jumpsuit. She remembered the way her padawan had gawked at her. Then he had become a knight and she had seen him several times with the young woman. She had seen the way her padawan had looked at her. But it was not her place to say anything. Paolo was no longer her padawan. She, of course was willing to help him in any way possible but…he was a shady young man. She often wondered to the extent of his relationship with Isabella. He was in love with her…that she was sure of. But no matter how sure she was she had never thought that Paolo would confess his love.

 _I know I can confide in you, Master. I need to confide in you. Promise me you won’t tell the council…promises me…  
_  
And she had promised. Promised because she loved him. Promised because she had broken the rule that forbid attachment a long time ago. On the day she had taken him as her padawan, in fact. 

She saw the shields of the separatist cruiser sputter and start dying.

“Master! Make them stop!” The pleading tone of Paolo’s voice was almost unbearable to her. Lexxa looked out the view port to where her padawan’s starfighter hovered anxiously.

“Paolo keep your thoughts together. It’s going to be ether us or them now. In a duel, such as the one we are in now, someone must loose.”

“But they can’t die!”  
 _  
_ _You mean she,_ Lexxa thought sadly. “We are at war, Paolo. People die every day. We can save thousands of innocent lives with this.”

“We can finish them, General,” one of the gunners called to her. 

Paolo must have heard for he became frantic. She could feel his grief and anger through their still strong bond. 

“No!”

Was it worth it? Lexxa couldn’t be sure. Maybe they could capture the vessel. Maybe…

“Hold your fire!” she ordered. But it was too late. The torpedoes had been released. Hitting their mark, the blasts detonated. The cruiser exploded with them. 

_No! No! NO!  
_  
The pleading cry floated through the bond and Lexxa thought her heart would break. She had made a vow to herself that she would never let any sorrow come to her padawan. She would do everything in her power to keep him away from grief. In a life of a Jedi that was rarely possible but here she felt utterly…guilty. 

Suddenly the Force shuddered, screaming a warning at her. She felt the Dark Side grow, boiling around her. 

Pain.

Despair.

Grief.

Guilt.

Anger.

Betrayal.

…Hatred. 

_“Paolo what have you done!?”  
_ _  
_ _“Only what is right! It’s justice, Master!”  
_ _  
_ _“Revenge isn’t justice, Padawan.”  
_ _  
_The memory haunted her. Had Paolo learned that lesson? Somehow she doubted it.

She watched Paolo’s fighter turn around, tuning on them. He opened fire. 

There were shouts of dismay and confusion. There was a roaring in her ears that she couldn’t control. But there was a silence along the bond. Because there was no more bond anymore. It shocked Lexxa how something so strong should be snapped so easily. 

Losing the bond was like losing a part of herself. Before the bond had broken she had heard the tearful accusation that her former padawan had flung her way. 

_I LOVED her! You knew I loved her and you KILLED her! I thought you loved me, Master…how could you betray me?  
_  
 _I do love you,_ Lexxa thought tearfully _. I love you too much.  
_ _  
_The voices of the clones around her broke through the haze clouding her mind.

“General, Commander Valenzy won’t respond.”

“General, our shields are too week by now. We can’t out-maneuver him.”

“Permission to shoot him down, General?”

It was so easy. Two words were all it would take. _Permission granted_. But she couldn’t. Her mind had drawn a blank. This was a nightmare…it simply had to be. 

“General?”

She knew what she should do… _Commander, shoot him dawn._

And yet her heart wouldn’t accept the truth: her padawan had turned on her.   
_  
__Commander, hold your fire.  
_  
She had once made a vow that she would die for her padawan. She had vowed that the day she failed Paolo would be the day she died. The day she stopped being a Jedi. She had failed him. Hadn’t she? But this wasn’t just her life at stake here. There were other people to think about.

She was a Jedi…this was her duty.

This was the boy she loved like a son. 

_The boy is dangerous…  
_ _  
_ _Paolo Valenzy has passed his Trials with flying colors…_

Was this really her choice to make? She looked out of the view port at the merciless starfighter. 

_“…It’s justice, Master!”  
_ _  
_ _“Revenge isn’t justice…”  
_  
It was her choice to make. Hers alone, now. 

Lexxa turned to the clone who was awaiting her order anxiously. “Commander…”


End file.
